I’m breaking up with you, Fear. It’s been coming for a long time. I’ve wanted to tell you the truth, but I was afraid of you. Afraid you’d overpower me. Afraid you’d try anything to keep me here, inside your lair, unwitting and too weak to escape.
I’ve been having an affair for years, behind your back, in plain sight. It started with an innocent meeting, a spark of something. Was it Love? Enticing, uncomfortable, I tossed it aside, as though it was false, of no importance, and I believed you. I believed your friends, too many to count.
But my curiosity loomed large.
Over time, I learned to appease you, to keep quiet, to move slowly. To wait until you weren’t paying attention. Then I’d sneak away and meet my Love in quiet places. We started as friends, of course. But soon, friendship turned to longing. The heart knows what it knows, and it will have its way at any cost.
You knew all along, of course. You were ready for me. You knew what to do to at every turn. Each time my Love asked me to leave you, I couldn’t. I turned away and went back to you. I sat in your house and listened to your lies. I believed you. I saw the evidence. It was real and I was afraid, as you held me in your gaze and convinced me to stay. How could I leave?
But my Love was free, and I felt the call. I’d go, come back, go again and come back. Each time a little weaker, a little stronger. A little less likely to fall for your sweet lies, your gifts, your endless patience and your secret plan. I figured you out.
And then the game changed. You became my prey. Your every move a clue, every nuance like fuel. I didn’t fight or resist, and this amused you. I let you think you had me. I let you believe I still loved you. All the while, leaving your world, little by little, crossing the bridge to my Love.
Breakups are hard. I may never forget you, but I can live without you now. There’s nothing more you can do. You hold no sway. You have no power. I’ve left you in the dust where you were born, without the blood you need to survive.
It’s not beneath me to thank you. Without you, I may still be gliding through a life without dreams, without truth. But I do pity you, your lonely, empty world, unfulfilled, unfillable. Should we meet again, I will offer you a hand and if you can see it, if you can feel the slightest urge, please take it. I promise you I will lift you up, out of your darkness and onto the bridge.
